My Radio Debut…

Stacy:

So… In my efforts to promote my amazing, fantastic, exciting, unbelievable new website www.parentsrpeople.com (yes, people this is what you call shameless promoting), I was asked to be on a morning radio show, The Bill Mcleod show which is geared toward helping single parents, one amazing tip at a time…. www.singledadstown.com  (Now Im promoting for Bill….hahaha). 

Ok, I’m done promoting, now back to my moment of glory…. I was sitting on my bed waiting for the phone to ring so that I would be the guest for Bill’s show.  My mind was racing with thoughts of what to say and what not to say… I try and always go with the truth, but as I glanced at my computer screen before me and watched my ex husband’s kind supportive words popping up on my g-chat, I couldn’t help,but to feel badly that I was just moments away from a public bashing.  I would touch on the emotional abuse and the alcoholism and all of his lovely qualities that led to the demise of my soul and inevitably our marriage.  I had to quickly come up with a way that would tell my story without devestating the man as he tuned in expecting nothing other than an interview promoting my website. 

I found a pretty adequate compromise and was pleased with the results.  I know with promoting this site this will be just the first of  many press/media type adventures for me and I know that this is something that I will have to get used to.  So one thing I need to do is accept the fact that I have a story to share and putting it out there will help people…so I will keep doing that and I hope that this is one of many opportunities that I will have to inspire people.

My Radio Interview:  http://www.wsradio.com/internet-talk-radio.cfm/shows/The-Bill-McLeod-Radio-Show/archives/date/selected/03-23-2009.html

When Life Throws You Snowballs…..

Stacy:

So…. I have been legally separated for over a year now.  My husband is..well let’s just say he is inconsistant with the child support.  Okay, I’m being kind.  There is no child support.  In the last 12 months he has given me support 4 times..all of which were a fraction of what he is supposed to give me.  I ask him for money every month.  Something!  Anything!  I am working 2 jobs and and I don’t want to take any more time away from my children… they need their mommy!

So for months I have been hearing the same thing from family and friends. 

“So..Stacy, when are you going to court?”

“Take him to court, Stacy…”

I know they were all right and my children deserve to have a stable home where the electric company isn’t ringing the doorbell to turn off the power every other month.  And I know if he gave me even half of what he is “supposed to” give me that would make all the difference in the world.  Yet still my heart…and my brain…and the butterflies in my tummy tell me otherwise.

“Don’t do it”, I would tell myself.

“Nothing good will come of this”…

But what was I afraid of?  Was it him?  His retaliation?  The fact that he would be mad? That he would become even more inconsistant with the kids? 

Or was it Karma?  I think that was it.  I think I believe going after him to support his own kids makes me a bad person…and yet, on a logical level I know that is ridiculous!  He should support his children.  I am trying to take care of them.  I am there for them everyday. I see them off to school.. I get them off the bus, I take off when they are sick or when their schools are closed(which is like every other freakin day!)

So reluctantly, I did it.  It was the last loss of electricity threat that did it.  I said to myself…”self…you don’t have to live like this!” 

I went to court and I filed the petition for support.  I sat next to this woman’s desk.  And as she read my rights to me, I began to sob.  She handed me a tissue and told me it would be ok.  But would it? 

I sat there and pondered what had become of this relationship.  We got married and had a family together.  We were supposed to be a team.  We fought so many battles together.  And we fought each other.  Now here I was dragging him to court so that he would support his children.   And there was my mistake.  I felt as though I were dragging him to court…and I failed to truly acknowledge that he had put himself in this position.  He created this reality for himself.  He had over a year to do the right thing and didn’t do it.  The consequences are his making.

Now on a logical level I accept that truth.  But on a spiritual level I feel haunted by my decision.  So today is our court date.  There is this crazy snow storm and the courts are closed.  Coinsidence?  Irony?  Or is the Universe telling me something?  I struggle with this.  I feel the need to just be the better person.  But who am I being the better person for?  Him?  My kids?  Are we supposed to work things out?  What is the message here?  Or perhaps there is no message.  Perhaps it’s just snowing and that’s just life.

Whatever is meant to be will be….but I was not meant to go to court today…